BURTON’S FISH 'N' CHIPS | PACKAGING COPYWRITING
Originally popular in the 1980s, Burton’s Fish ‘n’ Chips were revived in early 2014 due to overwhelming trade and consumer demand. They actually topped a poll in ‘The Sun’ when readers were asked which snack brand they’d most like to see returning to our supermarket shelves.
To relaunch the brand, Burton’s added two two new fish and chip shop favourites – Pickled Onion and Curry Sauce. They went down well with consumers, so a few years later, Burton’s expanded the range even more by adding Cheesy Chips, Chicken ‘n’ Chips, a festive Turkey ‘n’ Chips and a Red Sauce vs Brown Sauce head-to-head battle.
Here’s that cheesy on-pack copy in full:
1. Cheesy Chips
Top Chef Makes Remarkable Discovery!
World-famous French cordon bleu chef Francois Fromage has revealed in ‘Allo, Allo’ magazine that his stunning new culinary creation, Fromage sur les pommes frites was invented purely by chance. “I ‘ad ze pommes frites on ze plate and un petit piece of fromage dropped onto them and melted! Sacre bleu, what a taste sensation! I had invented Fromage sur les pommes frites! Or cheesy chips to you English.”
Choose your cheese!
Leading scientists at Cambridge University have just carried out a ground-breaking study to answer the centuries-old question: what’s the cheesiest cheese for cheesy chips? Professor A. Boffin reports that, “Stilton’s too pongy, Red Leicester’s too reddy, Mozzarella’s too stringy, but cheddar’s just gorge – geddit!”
Make your dreams come true!
“And after I’d scored the winning goal in the World Cup Final for England, defeated evil Dr. Yes to save the world, received the Nobel Prize for playing computer games and been to the Moon for lunch, I woke up!” said young Wensley Dale of Cheshire. “These cheesy chip snacks give you fantastic dreams!”
Roll on the cheese!
The Annual Cheese Rolling Event at Cheesington ended with a bang last week! It was a lovely hot sunny day and the cheeses rolled down the hill, smashed through a gate and went straight into a massive pile of potatoes. Soon everyone was being showered with tasty hot cheesy chips. “It was like a great big fondue!” said Lord Mayor Charlie Cheddar.
2. Chicken and Chips
Chicken’s roadside conundrum!
Passers-by on the Chicklington high street were amazed to see a chicken stood on the kerb. A crowd soon gathered asking the big question: is he going to buy a newspaper, is he going to see a mate, is he going home to roost? Lenny Leghorn plucked up courage and went to ask him. “No, I’m going to buy some lovely tasty chicken ‘n’ chips snacks across the road obviously!”
Ooerr, what’s your favourite?
When Billy Bantam was asked by a street researcher if he was a breast or a leg man, he couldn’t believe his ears! He replied, “That’s private – not even Mrs. Bantam knows that.” He was quickly reassured that it was chicken breast or leg. “Which one’s better for a tasty new chicken ‘n’ chips flavoured snack sir?” “Well, between you and me I like a bit of breast - and it would have to be King Edwards too!” replied Billy.
Down on the farm!
Farmer Ronnie Rooster got a big surprise when he saw his whole brood of chickens in his potato field. Not only that, they were digging up and tucking into his prize Maris Pipers. “Oooarrr, them chickens are gonna have a lovely taste when you cook ‘em!” said Ronnie. “That would make a great snack idea – chickeny potato things. Name might need some work though….” he added.
Chicken run!
Local entrepreneur Danny Drumstick has been spotted racing different varieties of chickens in his back garden. Ace reporter Red Crumbs was sent along to investigate. “Well, it’s simple really” said Danny, “I’m inventing a tasty new chicken ‘n’ chips flavoured snack, and I want to see which type of chicken will make it go fastest off the shelves!”
3. Festive Turkey and Chips
Get stuffed!
Local farmer Gary Gobbler had a brilliant idea to make him millions at Christmas. He started feeding his flock of prize turkeys with the finest King Edwards potatoes. His plan: to create a tasty new Turkey ‘n’ Chips snack just in time for the Festive Season! When asked if his turkeys minded eating the spuds, Gary replied, “Nah, they reckon it’s much better than having the sage and onion stuffing shoved where the sun don’t shine!”
Can’t cook, won’t cook!
Mother-of-five Tracy Turkey is renowned in her home town of Spuddington for being a terrible cook. Her long-suffering husband Tony Turkey tells toe-curling tales of her culinary mishaps. “Cook? My wife can’t even boil an egg - she burns the water! Cook? She uses the smoke alarm as a timer!” But Tracy’s got a cunning plan to avoid cooking this Christmas Day. Tasty Turkey ‘n’ Chips snacks for the whole family, served with cranberry sauce of course.
Fridge raider!
Butcher Willy Wattle had a bit of a surprise when he opened up one of the big refrigerators in his butcher’s shop the other morning. A very large turkey standing there shivering. Willy said, “Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather! I said, I hope you’ve not been gobbling my food all night!” The turkey replied, “No, I’m addicted to eating potato-based snacks and I can’t stop! My mate said I’d have to go cold turkey!”
Talking turkey!
“These new Turkey ‘n’ Chip flavoured snacks are absolutely lush,” said housewife Ginny Giblets! “In fact, they’re going to keep my hungry family going throughout the Festive period. We can have them on Christmas Day with Brussels, stuffing, bread sauce and gravy. Boxing Day I’ll make a curry from what’s left over, and the day after that, we can have Turkey ‘n’ Chips snack sandwiches! Then the shops will be open and I can get some more!”
Jive turkey!
The whole Feather family were gathered round in the front room on Christmas Day when Dad had a big mouthful of new Turkey ‘n’ Chips flavoured snacks. He suddenly jumped up and started gyrating around the room, bringing up his knees, hopping from one foot to the other and flapping his arms. “What’s he doing?” asked Freddie Feather. “The Turkey Trot!” said his mum Freda Feather. “Oh,” said Freddie, “I thought one of them snacks had gone down the wrong hole!”
4. Red vs Brown sauce battle
Red Devils Rule The Roost!
In today’s big match, league team Reddington Red Devils wiped the floor with local rivals Brown Town, 15-0! The turning point was the sending-off of Brown’s star striker Chip Shopp – that’s when things got a bit tasty. “Their centre half Vinny Gar battered me at a corner kick and I just saw red!” said an unrepentant Shopp. Red Devil’s manager Harry Haddock was delighted with the result, “The lads done great – it’s fish ’n’ chips all round washed down with plenty of the red stuff!”
Celebrity Chef Makes Shock Choice!
Renowned French celebrity chef, Raymond Rouge has shocked the culinary world by declaring that red has won the battle of the sauces in his Michelin-starred restaurant, ‘Poisson et frites’. “I like ze brown sauce n’est ce-pas, but eet eez is nothing when compared to a rich, full-bodied red sauce. Red is the colour of life, of danger, of speed, of l’amour! I love eet!” said Rouge before disappearing for a bacon sarnie with plenty of ketchup.
Red Sauce Wins International Tasting Competition!
Red sauce has finally beaten its bitter rival brown sauce in the tense and dramatic head-to-head final of the Grand Sauce Tasting World Championship held in Sausalito, California! Leading saucerers sampled the best sauce varieties on the planet and declared red the winner. Head Judge, Ricky Rioja announced that, “Brown’s gone down, red was well ahead – it’s the sachet with more cache!”
Red Angels Win the Battle of the Skies!
“We brought those browns down to the ground” – the triumphant words of lead pilot Tommy Turbot of the world-famous aerobatic team the Red Angels. They battered arch rivals the Brown Bombers in a nail-biting fly-off in the skies. The Bombers started off well but frittered away their lead when nasty brown smoke poured out of their planes choking spectators. When handed the prestigious international trophy, Turbot said, “Wrap it up – we’ll take it away!”
